Rising Sun
by fabianprewitt
Summary: Changed in Phoenix, Bella runs from her new horrific nature. She makes her way up the west coast, finally stopping in Alaska. The Denali coven find her, and take her under their wing. She starts to feel normal until a visit from their long time friends turns her world upside down; the Cullens.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:**

**Hi guys! This is my first fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to leave a review, I'm looking to improve my skills as a writer! **

**Disclaimer: All the lovely characters in the Twilight universe are sadly not mine and belong completely to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Without further ado; to the story!**

**Chapter 1**

The pavement pounded beneath my feet while my heart matched their frantic pace. I whipped my head around, but couldn't see him anymore. I took stock of my surroundings. A large dumpster took up most of this otherwise incredibly narrow alley. Fire escapes adorned the walls to my left and right, giving this abandoned place a new-york esque feel, as though out of a Netflix marvel episode. I would have stopped to appreciate the scenery, so uncharacteristic of my native Phoenix, if fear weren't coursing through my veins. My head told me to calm down while my heart fervently disagreed. I turned back around, slowing to a stop finally.

He stood in front of me, a sadistic smile marring his otherwise perfect features.

"It's so cute when you try to run".

I felt the bile rise in my throat as his smile turned to laughing. He took a step towards me and I braced myself to run again. Suddenly he was beside me, my head cradled in his hand while his other lovingly caressed my shoulder. He might have been about to kiss me. As he lowered his face to my neck and sank in his teeth, I wished he had done that instead.

I felt myself grow weak as my vision began to cloud. Suddenly the pain of his teeth tearing apart my jugular was gone, and I felt a momentary spurt of relief, which was quickly replaced by a burning sensation that grew ever more urgent, stemming from the bloody remains of my throat. The fire began to grow, becoming truly uncomfortable. I felt my body resist the feeling, almost like trying to move away from the pain, which somehow only served to fuel it. It began to spread through my extremities, true hell, fire burning its way through my body. It was unbearable. As the fire tore its way through my dilapidated body, I begun to regret every decision I had made in my life up until this point, the decisions which had culminated in this fiery hell. I felt my bones turn to ash and somehow still smoulder, unbelievable pain. I noted that as the rain began to fall, it did not serve to lessen the pain in any way.

I burned for what felt like an eternity. I noticed night falling and day rising above me, but still no one was alerted to my screams. I had screamed for hours, until my destroyed throat could scream no more. The pain of my shredded throat was nothing compared to the fire. And still it burned, onward, eternal. It surprised me to learn that the Christians had been right, and the culmination of an apparently sinful life would end in fire, burning me for all eternity. I had never been religious, and I struggled to hold onto this thought, this great surprise, as the fire suddenly burned hotter.

How was it growing hotter? Seriously? There was no such thing as hotter. I pondered this impossible contradiction even as the molten lead flooded my veins, bringing with it even hotter, fresher hell. I wished for the end. Begged for it. Heard my pathetic whimpers piercing the night sky even as my treacherous body disobeyed me, burning hotter, hotter, hotter.

Finally, mercifully, it began to stop. I wept, thankful for this small mercy. I could no longer feel my extremities, and this small mercy brought thankfulness to my lips in a way nothing ever had before. But the fire burned hotter still in my heart. I tried to ignore this fresh new pain, focusing on the relief in my fingers, toes, knees…. The numbness grew at a torturous, snail like pace, but I was grateful for each new millimetre of relief, of nothingness. This must be the end, I mused. I burned for eternity, and now I have done my time. I can finally die.

I heard my heart, seemingly trying to burst from my chest, beating faster and faster as the fiery war raged. It shuddered, beating irregularly. Finally, it stopped.

The absence of fire throughout my veins was the first thing I noticed. I was still alive? How? The relief that swept through me pushed this errant thought to the side.

Breathing in, I opened my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**

**Hi guys! This is my first fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to leave a review, I'm looking to improve my skills as a writer!**

**Disclaimer: All the lovely characters in the Twilight universe are sadly not mine and belong completely to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter 2**

The air looked different. Or did it? As I gazed at the beautiful particles dancing all around me, I found myself struggling to remember if I'd ever noticed the air before. I breathed in, and noticed that I could taste it too. I breathed in deeper, a cacophony of smells causing beautiful chaos in my mind. I noticed a smell that caused my throat to suddenly burn with its delicious intensity. What was it? I looked around for the source, but noticed only the derelict alleyway, and the remnants of my, now dried, blood, streaking the pathway. The majority of it must have been washed away in the rain I surmised. I looked around, noticing every detail of the alley, before realizing that it was in fact night time. I marvelled at my new found sense of sight, smell, hearing even. It was so confusing. What on earth had happened to me?

Looking around, trying to get some idea of what the fuck had happened, I noticed my hand. It was… perfect. I definitely hadn't always looked this way. I mentally took stock of my appearance. Pale skin, flat mousy brown hair, nice enough eyes, not much in the way of body. But as I looked down at myself what my eyes were showing me conflicted with how I knew myself to look. I was…..hot? Weird. Very, weird. Maybe I was high? I didn't feel high, but it would certainly explain a hell of a lot. Then I remembered the guy with the weird red eyes who had chased me to this alley. My hand flew to my neck, expecting to find mutilated flesh, but found…. Nothing. Smooth, supple, undamaged flesh beneath my fingers. This was so weird. Was it a dream? It felt so real. The pain of the flames certainly couldn't have been imagined. Maybe some matrix like simulation? At this point I was willing to believe just about anything. I decided to go home. Wait, where was home? I strained my memory before recollecting the two bedroom bungalow I shared with my hare-brained mother. In the East part of town, just off Frye Road. I set off in the direction of our home, breaking into a run. As soon as I had had the thought I took off, moving faster than I'd ever moved before. Cars couldn't move as fast as this, I was sure. And although everything should have been a blur, at the speed I was moving, I could see everything. Every crack in every pavement stone, every leaf on every bush I passed. I was grateful now that it was nighttime, fewer people to see me. At that thought I slowed to a more normal pace. I couldn't wait for my bed, although, as I thought it I realized I was not at all tired. Double weird, must be some sort of adrenaline rush.

A few minutes later the cozy two bedroom I shared with Rene came into view. I noted Phil's pickup in the driveway. Honestly, the number of nights he spent here, I should really consider this place the one I shared with Rene and Phil. I'm so glad they're home. I had liked Phil from the first moment I'd met him, with his calm, happy demeanour. He was the perfect yin to my mothers crazy yang. I realized that I no longer had my bag with me. Drat, it must have been lost in the last- wait, how long had it been? I remembered the hell-dream that had seemed to last an eternity, and figured it couldn't have been that long, I'd have starved to death or died of thirst or something. This thought alerted me to my dry, scratchy throat. I desperately wanted a glass of water (although that thought was strangely unappealing? So strange). I walked up to the front door and tried the handle. Phew, unlocked. Although, I'd have to chat to Rene about being so lax with the locks, I could have been a killer or something. I heard Rene sobbing in the kitchen, being comforted by Phil. My heart wrenched. I'd put her through so much grief. I didn't waste another second-

"Mom, I'm home!". My voice sounded so melodic, like a wind chime or something. Could this day get any stranger? As the thought occurred to me Rene barrelled into the front hall, crashing into me, her arms outstretched, sobbing furiously. As she did so I noticed that delicious smell again, this time emanating from my brain. Suddenly a wave of red descended, and suddenly I was Bella Swan no more. Rene's screams failed to even penetrate my angry hunger as I tore through her jugular. Sweet relief coursed over my tongue as I drank, feeling her body crumple and crush beneath my hands. It was as though I was squeezing every last delicious drop from her body. I felt the blood stop flowing and didn't think. I ran to Phil, resuming my blood fuelled drinking binge on his defenceless body, snapping his neck to better reach the sweet nectar. As his body fell from my hands horror descended upon my, a fresh cold wave of terrified disgust. I ran to my mother-

'Mom!' I wailed, holding onto her lifeless form, willing her to answer me. I shook her. "Mom!". But I heard nothing. Not a heartbeat. Not hers, not Phil's. Not mine.

A cold realization washed over me.

I was a vampire.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I can't believe I already have followers? OMG. So exciting! Thank you uwu! I now feel as though I must be responsible and diligent with my uploading, so for now at least, I'm trying to do at least one chapter per day! **

**Please feel free to leave a review! Trying to improve my writing skills. **

**Disclaimer: All the twilight goodness is sadly not mine and belongs to goddess Stephanie Meyer, long may she reign. **

**Chapter 3:**

What had I done? I looked down in horror on the lifeless corpses of Rene and Phil. My own mother? The love I had for my scatter brained mother welled up in my chest, threatening to explode, but no tears came. I was truly a monster. I couldn't even shed a tear for my murdered mother. And Phil. Kind, loving Phil, who had been nothing but wonderful to me and my mother from the moment he entered my life. And I had ruthlessly slayed them. Fed from them, as though they were juiceboxes. And beneath my self-loathing and disgust I felt…. Satisfied. Drinking their blood had made this new me… happy. I did not know I had the capacity to feel this at odds with myself.

Vampire. Blood drinker. I couldn't believe it. I was cursed. I had gone through the fire and come out into even worse hell. A remorseless murdered, killing even those she loves most in the world. I did not let myself continue down the road of self-pity. I was better than that. But what the hell could I do now? My first thought was to run. Run far enough that I never saw another human, never risked again inflicting myself upon some helpless person. But I had to stay and bury my mother and Phil. I caught myself here- it was too risky. What if Mrs. Fullerton from next door came over in the morning to chat as she often did? And what about the paperboy? Passer bys in the street? Who could possibly be safe? I had no idea what the range was on this new sickening monster that dwelled within me. I had to move. Now.

I took off, holding in my breath to better keep safe the innocent. I thought that perhaps if I couldn't smell them, they'd be safe. So under the cover of night fall I ran. I ran to the coast, thinking maybe I could swim (no humans under water right?). I marveled as I ran that holding my breath caused me no pain; I clearly didn't need the air which had once been my lifeforce. I guess there's no need to sustain the dead. How morose. I ran, thanking god for the cover of nightfall that I might not run into any humans. Finally, I reached the coast. Without stopping I dived in, swimming outward, forward, away from everything I had ever loved.

I swam and swam, filling with self loathing as I did so. I pushed that thought to the side and noted that my throat still burned. Ironic that even as I was surrounded with water, and filled with the blood of my loved ones, I would still be thirsty. What a monster I must be, cursed to sustain myself on the blood of innocent people for-

Wait. How long was I going to live now? Had that changed? Would I age? I took stock of my new, strong body as I swam. What was I now? A vampire for sure but what else. Which legends were true? Would I burn in the sun? That at least would be some small mercy, that I might finally die and burn in hell for all eternity, as I now knew was my destiny. Garlic? It seemed comical that that might inhibit me, but the psychopathic part of my brain was curious, even as the rest of me was swallowed by self-loathing. I knew that stakes could kill me. Was positive even. If the sunlight didn't kill me, I'd try that as soon as I came upon a shipwreck. Were there others? It seemed surreal that there was even one of me, so I couldn't imagine two. As I pondered the logistics of my new existence I saw the sun begin to rise. I slowed down and turned onto my back, waiting to be burned. I felt the sun move skywards and its rays begin to penetrate my skin. I waited and… nothing. No burning. I felt foolish now, spread-eagled in the middle of the ocean ready to burn to death. I cracked open one of my eyelids and was immediately stupefied.

I was beautiful. My skin shone, a multi faceted diamond covered tapestry, beguiling my eyes. God I was so beautiful. This thought disgusted me. How could a monster like me ever be considered beautiful. I pondered over this new horrific irony. I heaved a sigh and turned back around, beginning my swim again. Well maybe the stake would work. I kept an eye out for ship wrecks as I swam. I wondered if I could breathe in the water, what would happen. I tentatively took a small mouthful of water in and the frenzy descended once again. Not thinking, I swam towards a hammerhead I hadn't noticed a couple miles away. I had noticed it's taste in the water however, and that had been enough. As I came upon it I bit, sinking my teeth through the rubbery flesh, towards that sweet nectar. It was disgusting, nothing in comparison to the sweet blood of my mother and Phil. I was disgusted with myself even at the thought, but still proceeded to drain the poor shark. I thought about all those shark week documentaries I'd seen and felt awful. But then it occurred to me- it's still better than killing humans. I could live off see-food for the rest of my life (existence?). I'd eaten fish when I was human, I could live this way. Living in the sea for the rest of my life seemed a little ridiculous however, a horror like little mermaid. I assumed that I could also eat (drink, I reminded myself) the blood of animals. I could live in the wilderness. This seemed vastly more palatable than swimming in the dark desolate ocean forever. And a bit more natural (that thought made me laugh).

I'd live in the forest then. But which one? I had to make sure I was far enough from humanity that I could never again hurt someone.

Canada! Even as the idea came to me I switched direction, now moving north. I'd emerge from the north, less likely to encounter humans that way. I was trepident, but for the first time since I'd woken in this nightmare, hopeful.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi All! I can't believe the response my story has gotten so far, and it's only been up for a few hours! I never thought I'd have 500 people read my writing! It means a lot to me, so thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favourited my story. **

**Disclaimed: Twilight is still not mine. *Returns furiously to spell book to see what else can be done*.**

**Chapter 4**

I noticed the water around me grow progressively colder as I moved northwards. I must have been swimming for almost a day now, but I felt as energetic as when I'd first entered the water. This must be a feature of my new vampiric state. I'll never be tired again! But…. I'll never be tired again. I'd always enjoyed waking up on lazy Sunday mornings while the sun streamed through my window, lazily reading books and napping intermittently. Ah well. It was a pale shadow in comparison to my new family-killing bloodthirsty nature. I had had a lot of time to think- also I never noticed how fast my brain worked before. I felt like I'd done more thinking in the last twelve hours than I had in my whole life. I had mused over the philosophical tenets I'd read about in books, but they seemed weak and fruitless in my new state. I knew I had to atone, and makeup for the lives I'd taken. I had no idea how to do that though, given that I couldn't apparently be within the vicinity of any humans. A puzzle which kept my mind occupied, even as I fed on various sea creatures on my journey north. I turned eastward, moving back towards land, and reached land within a couple of hours. As I walked tentatively on the fresh untouched snow I kept my senses as alert as possible for signs of humans in the vicinity. It didn't stop me from noticing that the cold snow against my bare wet feet felt like a soft warm brush. So I couldn't feel cold now. Or I was cold now? Either my new state and skin prevented me from feeling outside weather forces, or my body temperature had been lowered so much that I was now the same temperature as snow. So many things infuriated me about my new state, so many things I didn't know. I wished so dearly I'd read more fantasy novels while I'd been alive. One thing I had realized over the past day is that I was unmistakably dead. There was no heartbeat in my stony chest. No blood ran through my veins. I guess I'd never realized that my skin had been pink before, but it was now plain in comparison to my alabaster complexion.

I think I'm in Canada? I can't risk looking for human towns, so I just have to take my best guess. I strained my brain for memories of geography lessons, but came up short. Well, it was cold and desolate, which is just what I was looking for. I wandered around. This was…. Dull. I guess it would be too much to hope, to stay entertained, and certainly more than I deserved, but there was only so much you could do in the snow.

At that a childish thought came to me and I started building a snow fort. As I worked methodically I noticed my brute strength. While I had needed significant force on our trip to the snow a couple years back, pushing my hands together to create snowballs which I had laughingly tossed at my mother (a painful thought), this was as easy as moving water. It did not take too long for me to create a rudimentary snow…box. House? Well, I could just stand inside it. Looking around at the hard snow walls I let a giggle pass my lips at the childish fun of it all. I was immediately disgusted with myself, having fun a mere few hours after brutally murdering my family.

What the hell was I doing? I angrily demolished my snow structure, letting it topple around me, burying me. I lay there, my eyes shut, waiting for blackness to swallow me.

It didn't however. I merely lay there until the burn in my throat turned unbearable, and I knew I had to foray into the ocean once again for a gross sea meal. As I brushed the snow off of me I noticed a smell coming from inland. It wasn't the delectable smell I recall from ren- humans. I stopped myself. Just think of it as human, it hurts less. Than human smell. It was better than shark though (and a hell of a lot better than seal). I ran tentatively towards the smell, my muscles tensed, ready to hurl myself towards the sea in case it was a human. I kept my eyes strained and finally saw it- a bear! I let my senses take over, running towards the bear and killing it instantly. As I drank I mused that this was a tad better. Not tasty by a long shot, but it went someway towards dulling the ache in my poor throat.

And so it went, for the next few weeks. I wandered morosely around the snow capped land, stopping only to place a dent in the local bear population. I had only my thoughts to bother me, and bother me they did. I decided to venture further inland. I hadn't seen a human in my time here and thought perhaps I would be safe moving further inland. I started running, moving slightly away from the coast as I did so. Artic wilderness slowly began to give way to sparse forest, and then dense green trees. I stopped. This was enough change, and I didn't want to risk anything.

A few days after that I had just finished feeding (moose this time. Oh, Canada) when I heard another noise. I could still go for some blood, and so I allowed the now familiar feeling to wash over me, giving into my hunting senses. This wasn't the same though. I had expected the smell something tasty (ish at least), but instead smelled… flowers? That was weird, because I definitely heard an animal. Why would it smell so lovely? I let my curiosity get the better of me. I was dying of boredom and self-flagellation, and I longed for something new, something different. I walked at a human pace. It was strange to me, how quickly I had become accustomed to thinking of myself as non-human. All part of the gig I supposed. I was musing over this when I came upon the source of the scent, saw it from a couple kilometres away. Humans! I turned and fled, moving faster than I had since waking up this way. As I ran however I noticed that they were following me! How!? Incredulous, I redoubled my efforts, straining to move faster away, away.

I had almost made it to the ocean when I was blindsided. A large force rammed into me from the side, momentarily sending my sprawling. As soon as I had lost my balance however I flipped, moving into a defensive stance. I faced my attacker.

It was a human. But it didn't smell delectable, and I felt no urge to attack. It was the most beautiful human I'd ever seen. Long blond hair framed an achingly perfect face, unmarred alabaster skin. Her perfect proportions brought an ache to my heart; such beauty was unnatural. Her topaz eyes got my attention, seeming even more unnatural somehow in this perfect face. The goddess opened her mouth and spoke.

"Hello". Such a banal term coming from one so gorgeous, it was almost comical.

"What's your name?". Her eyes looked kind, pitying, as they surveyed me. I tensed my muscles, not ready to let me guard down. She waited almost a full second before speaking again, undeterred by my silence.

"My name is Kate".


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to me (not).**

As the beautiful creature in front of me smiled encouragingly at me I began to relax somewhat, unclenching my muscles. I stopped growling and baring my teeth. No sooner had I let my guard down than my pursuant caught up to me, sending me once again into a defensive crouch. The new girl looked so similar and yet so different to Kate. She had the same alabaster skin, golden eyes and hauntingly beautiful features but this is where the comparison ended. Her hair, while blonde like Kate was a vastly different shade, more strawberry and their features were in no way similar.

"Tanya, it's okay. Look at her eyes. "

The other girl- Tanya- relaxed slightly from her defensive crouch, finding apparent solace in my eyes. What about them? They were plain old brown, I knew that, but I failed to see why they would relax anyone.

"What do you mean" I spoke for the first time, wincing again at my melodic voice, so different from the one I remembered.

"You clearly feed from animals too".

Wait- what? Too? These people- my mind was a flurry of thought. Did this mean that these people were the same as me? Vampires also? What made them so beautiful? And they also seemed to have discovered what I had, that sustenance from animals was a viable alternative to ruthless murder. Was that why there were in this desolate area as I was, to avoid the temptation of humans? Must be, it makes sense. I asked them tentatively,

"So you're vampires".

"Yes" they responded in musical, harmonious voices. I felt myself sag internally. It had been my last, desperate hope, that I was wrong and this was all a horrible dream. But that was not to be.

" We too have decided not to feed from humans". There was that comfort at least.

"How many of us are there" I asked. "Hard to say" responded Tanya. "A few thousand at least. We stay away from them though, most vampires do not share our animal eating ways". So we were the anomaly. The thought angered me, of these remorseless creatures scavenging the earth, killing innocents. I snarled violently at the thought and Kate leapt forward, taking hold of my arm.

I snarled at her, but she looked at me only in confusion.

"It didn't work". She was now addressing Tanya. "My…" She trailed off, turning once again to look at me in confusion. I tried to calm myself. Why was I so volatile now? I felt let down, as though I was weak. I vowed to try harder, to be better.

"I'm sorry". I heaved a sigh. "It's just, the thought, of thousands out there hurting innocent people is…upsetting". Tanya giggled, and I looked at her incredulously.

"I'm sorry" The strawberry blonde looked down at me (wow were these girls tall). "it's just so rare to meet a newborn with such.. compassion. It's unnerving. But we're happy, one more animal eater is still one less human killer". She seemed genuine and I let down my guard a little more in the presence of these beautiful friendly girls.

"Would you like to come with us?" Kate asked me, her hand outstretched. "No offense, but you kind of look like hell". This I could believe- I certainly felt like it. I didn't take Kates outstretched hand, but nodded my assent. At this the girls took off, at a slower pace than before. I joined them and together we sprinted through the Canadian wilderness. We ran for an hour or so before coming upon a large cabin, set perfectly in the woods. The multiple storied house was out of place yet perfectly fitted in these forest surroundings. A car was parked outside a double door garage, just off a path which led to a modern looking wooden door, divided by a metal handle which cut across the entire door. The rest of the house was a combination of wood, stone, and startling amounts of glass, as though it were part house, part fishtank. I could see into a beautiful living room just off a modern kitchen, opposite a modest staircase which presumably led to bedrooms. The girls slowed to a walk as they approached the house, opening the door for me.

"Welcome to our home". Tanya spoke, looking at me with kindness. "The others are still out hunting". At my worried expression she quickly reassured me- "they're like us too, we all feed from animals, it's why we live together." She sighed, looking worryingly at me. "it's probably for the best, we should settle you in before exposing you to the others. Would you like to take a shower?". Oh god did I want a shower. I could feel weeks of salt water and snow had hardened my hair into an untameable mess, and I couldn't imagine how chapped my face must look after weeks of exposure.

"That would be lovely yes thanks". Tanya pointed me in the direction of what I assumed was the bathroom. I heard running water, Kate must have already turned it on. When I entered the bathroom the room was filled with steam, and I felt myself relax as if in a spa. I focused on the shower, stripping quickly and entering the glorious warm stream. That solved that one at least- I knew that I was not immune to feeling temperature. I must have a very low body temperature. As I washed my hair and body I felt some of the tension release from the last few weeks, and felt as though I might cry from the release. I didn't however. I looked forward to interviewing Tanya and Kate about my new form, what it meant for me, what I was.

Stepping out of the shower I felt a million times better, almost human.

That thought was quickly dismissed as I caught sight of the mirror.

My first thought was that there was another member of their family in here with me, and I tensed, trying to stay calm. As I ran through these emotions, the strange brunette also seemed to be computing. I raised my hand- so did she. Oh god, it was me.

I approached the mirror, raising my hand to my face as I did so. I was….gorgeous. Achingly beautiful, just like Tanya and Kate. Perfect, unblemished alabaster skin. I didn't recognise myself. I looked frantically for some clue that I was still me and noticed the top lip of this beautiful creature was slightly too full for the bottom, just like me. It was me then. How strange. I still had brown hair, but that was where the comparison ended. Long brunette locks swang to my mid waist, reflecting a million beautiful colors throughout the mane. My body was perfect. Models strived to look like I did. My face was perfectly symmetrical. I finally settled on my eyes, expecting my brown orbs to be staring back at me. That was not the case however, and I double took at the sight of the light orange/brown eyes staring back at me. How unsettling, yet fitting I thought. Monstrous eyes for a monster. No human could look at me and not know to stay away. I left the bathroom walking back to the adjoining bedroom wrapped in a towel, clasping my ruined clothes in my hand. On the bed was laid out a new set of clothes, and I was grateful for it. I discarded my ruined garments on the floor and donned the jeans, sweater and boots laid out on the bed. I had never in my life been so grateful for denim, glad to be finally rid of the clothes that-. Never mind.

I walked out into the living room and greeted Tanya and Kate.


	6. Chapter 6

"And then I ran into you". Kate and Tanya looked at me, pity in their eyes.

"You poor thing", exclaimed Tanya. "You've had a rough few weeks". Uncomfortable with their pity, I let my eyes slide to the floor. They got the hint, moving forwards. "So, it sounds like you've got a lot of questions about what you are now, and we'd love to help out in that regard".

Tanya shifted on the couch, crossing her legs. I thought that was strange as I felt no need to fiddle or move. I was comfortable standing, and knew I could do so indefinitely. Nevertheless, I sat when they did, facing them across the coffee table. Tanya caught my confused stare and gave a laugh.

"It's a force of habit, from being around humans". Tanya seemed to realize that this brought more questions than it answered.

"Okay, let me start from the beginning". She paused, seemingly wondering where that was. "Vampires are venomous. When they bite, but do not kill, a human the venom enters the humans system, changing them into a vampire. This process takes three days. I'm sure you remember the burning sensation you experienced" She took my grimace as assent. "This is the change. When you wake up, you have been changed into a vampire. Physically, we are virtually indestructible. Few things are stronger than us. You could, for example, quite easily lift a house assuming it was logistically possible". Hmmm. This was certainly interesting. "You may have already noticed that the sun reflects on your skin-" "the sparking, you mean?" I interjected.

Tanya laughed, "yes, the sparkling. You now survive off of blood. Most vampires sustain themselves through human blood, but our family and a handful of others elsewhere choose instead to survive off animal blood. We call ourselves vegetarians- our little inside joke." She paused, checking to see how I was processing so far. Apparently assuaged, she continued-

" That's why our eyes look the way they do, the topaz color. Human drinkers have red eyes. That's why your eyes are the color they are- you woke up full of human blood (your own) and then took in more-" She stopped herself, realizing she had triggered the painful memory. She moved on swiftly, "but as you drink more and more animal blood your eyes will become the same color as ours. You are also immortal now, and you will never age or change. This means, sadly….."

She trailed off here, not meeting my eye. She inhaled deeply, steeling herself.

"You can never have children".

This hit me, I'll admit. I mean, I wasn't broody or anything, but I always assumed that one day I'd have kids. It was natural. I guess that was part and parcel of being definitionally un-natural now. I'd just have to move on. Tanya continued,

"You will never again need to sleep, eat or drink. I'm sure you've realized by now that you don't need to breathe, although it's certainly more comfortable. I'll be honest with you, I've never known a vampire to live underwater for as long as you did, it's quite….humorous". I checked her face here for signs of mocking, but all that greeted me was the kind friendliness which she had exuded since our first meeting.

"Now let me tell you about the Volturi. They are our government, watching over and enforcing our laws. Well, our law."

"Our law" I interjected here. Just one? I wondered what it was.

"Keep the secret".

Oh. Of course. Duh.

"There are many facets of this, but now that you know the law they should all be obvious to you. You must never alert a human as to your nature. You've expressed that you do not want to ever again encounter humans, so this should be fine for you".

I thought over what I'd heard so far, pondering the new information. Wait- "so how old are you?" Looking at the pair I thought they couldn't be a day over 25, but I guess I would truly have no clue.

Tanya smiled and explained "Well, we've been vampires for roughly 1000 years". Wow, 1000 years old. The nerd in me was jealous of them, living through history like that. "As for our real ages…. Ages weren't recorded as stringently as they are now when we were growing up. I think I'm somewhere in my 20's, maybe close to 25.

"Same for me" interjected Kate.

"We were changed by my great-aunt, Sasha. I was changed first, and she chose Kate and then Irina to join us in the century after that. We originally come from eastern Europe but moved here a couple of centuries ago." Tanya paused here. "Any questions?"

My mind was reeling somewhat from the new information. "Is it possible to become human again?". Their dejected faces were all I needed in answer to that question.

Suddenly three other vampires arrived in the cozy living room. The one looked similar to Kate and Tanya in that she was blonde and pale. The other two were determinedly more Spanish looking, with glowing olive tone skin and dark hair. One was a male, the other female. They stood close together, as though intimate with one another.

"Carmen, Eleazar, Irina, come and meet Bella". They advanced, smiles on their faces. Kate recounted my story to them briefly, and they listened sympathetically.

"In light of Bella's circumstances and choices, I'd like to invite her to stay with us" announced Tanya. It seemed strange to me that she would unilaterally announce this, but I quickly realized that she held some sort of leadership role within the family. Fortunately the other four vampires seemed happy with this decision. Carmen walked up to me, taking my hands in hers.

"Bella" Her voice trilled my name in a beautiful accented harmony. "We are so happy to have another addition to our family". I was so touched. Not just by Carmen's kind words, but the generosity and kindness shown to me since I had encountered the two sisters. It was with a genuine feeling of love in my heart that I responded "and I'm happy to join you".

The moment quickly died down, feelings of companionship floating through the air, or so it seemed to me. I got to know the three sisters and Carmen as they told me more of their stories. Their lives had been so colorful, I was enraptured with their tales. After chatting to Eleazar he revealed to me that some vampires are born with 'talents', explaining the various types of talents that existed. I couldn't believe there was a boy who could influence the elements, less even a girl who could see the future? Mind boggling. "Kate here has the talent to 'shock' people". Here Kate looked remorseful. "Yes, and I tried to shock you earlier. Sorry about that." Here I was confused, but Eleazar sported a secretive smile. " It didn't work though" explained Kate. "That's never happened".

"That's because our Bella (my heart warmed here) is talented also. She is a shield".

"A what?"

"A shield dear Bella. Your mind has the power to keep you, and others, safe, so to speak. Many vampires, Kate included, have the power to assault others with their mind. There are some who can cause intense pain, some who can remove your senses, some who can read your thoughts even. You are safe from all of these, and I believe you have the power to shield others from such attacks as well".

Eleazar explained further "I myself am talented; I am able to discern the talents of others. It sounds modest, but is actually quite useful. I was once a member of the Volturi Guard." He looked quite proud of himself here and I complimented him accordingly. "But that was long ago".

Kate here took my arm, "let me give you the tour and show you to your room". Room? But I thought we didn't sleep. She showed me throughout the house, which looked smaller on the outside than on the inside. Downstairs there was a large entertainment room with A video game system set up, as well as several musical instruments and art supplies. "You're welcome to use any of these. You'll soon pick up many passtimes- the nights tend to get a bit long without them." She continued on her tour, showing me the derelict kitchen "in case of human company". At my alarmed expression she assuaged me that there wouldn't be any of that until I was comfortable. I privately thought that that would never happen. She took me outside, explaining that we were several hundred miles away from towns in any direction, and humans rarely hiked in these areas. They had a pool, I noticed. Strange, for such a cold place, but I guess the temperature means nothing to us now. We'll hunt with you until you're comfortable alone.

She then showed me the upstairs rooms, revealing what I knew would become my favorite one. The entire third story was a library. From wall to wall with shelves throughout the whole room, books. There were easily tens of thousands. I was ecstatic. Kate caught my eager expression, "you can read any of them Bella. Please consider this your home". She showed me my room, a blank space furnished with classic 'guest room' furniture. "Now that this is yours" Kate explained "you're welcome to furnish it however you like. We can buy things online and one of us will go and fetch the things from the nearest town when they arrive". I thought to myself that I would be uncomfortable spending strangers money, but they seemed genuinely unperturbed at the thought. Well, maybe. Probably not though. Kate explained to me that while we did not need sleep, it was not unusual to still want alone time, hence each person having a room (except for Eleazar and Carmen, I learned). Here Kate explained to me the one downside of being a vampire. Excellent hearing. Apparently you didn't miss a thing. The walls were apparently sound proofed but that only went so far with our hearing, Kate explained. You'll learn to ignore it after a while. She laughed at my alarmed expression.

The next few months passed in comfort and companionship. The Denali's (as I learned they were called) had an easy schedule of hunting, past-times and spending time together, which was easy to fall into. The family was warm, loving and inclusive, and it did not take long for me to think of myself as 'part of the family'. I still felt enormous guilt from my ruthless murder of my mother and Phil, but it was impossible to be morose all the time in such a supportive environment. I was by no means over it, but I felt hopeful that one day I might feel a little less grief. I would try to push the thoughts of my tumultuous change behind me and looked towards my endless future as part of this loving family.

I was playing a game of cards with Kate one day when Tanya ran into the room, squealing.

"Everyone!". Kate and I looked up expectantly while Carmen and Eleazar paused their movie and looked over.

"The Cullens are coming for a visit!".


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading! Sorry for my evil cliffies, I just can't help it, it's too much fun. **

**Disclaimer: *Sigh*. Twilight is still not mine. **

"So who're the Cullens?"

It had been a day since Tanya's excited announcement, since which she'd been a blur of arranging sheets and just generally readying our three guest cottages for their use while they stayed with us. We were all humored by her but generally let her do her thing. It was good to see her so happy. I was sitting with Kate and was curious about our soon-to-be visitors.

"They're a vegetarian family like us. We've been friends with them since we moved to North America and they visit us about once per year during the summer for a while. We think of them as our cousins."

Another family like us? I was so happy at the news, the prospect of new people. I'd only seen the faces of my new family for several months now and the city girl within longed for more excitement and new people.

"The father of the family is Carlisle Cullen. He is a doctor and is just generally one of the best people you'll ever meet. He's a wonderful man. His mate is Esme."

It had been a couple of months since I had learned about mates. I had been sitting with Carmen while she taught me to crochet (something I would never have considered doing while I was human. How times had changed). I had picked it up quickly and we sat companionably side by side making cute bikinis for us to wear (Carmen had seen them in a magazine and insisted we try it).

"So how long have you known Eleazar?".

"I met Eleazar 63 years after I changed. I never have told you my story, have I?" She smiled in that maternal way of hers I had grown accustomed to.

"I was born at the beginning of the 18th century in the South of Spain. It was a strange time- a Frenchman had recently ascended to the throne, throwing my country into civil war- the war of Spanish succession. War hurts the lives of many, and my father died shortly after my birth in the fighting. My mother subsequently went into work while I was raised by my grandmother. I had two little sisters, Katerina and Isabella. When I was 15 my grandmother arranged for me to marry a man from a local family, the son of the local judge. His name was Matias. Matias was a hard man, but loving, and he required me to work. I kept bar in a local tavern, necessitating late nights, and worked there for several years, until I was 22. I worked late nights and cared for my family in the day. It was an exhausting life, but my family gave me purpose. On one of those nights I was making my way home when I was attacked by a vampire named Santiago. Santiago told me of his intention to kill me. I was so tired that I couldn't think straight, and so I snapped at him. I told him that I was tired and busy and had a family so he had better go and find someone else to kill. I don't know what came over me, but anyway, that's what I said. Santiago was…. intrigued however. He said that he was interested to see how a pregnant woman would undergo the change."

I looked at Carmen, horrified. Pregnant? "Oh, Carmen". I put my hand atop of hers, and she looked at me, grief in her eyes.

"Yes. Pregnant." She looked down at the table. If she was able to cry I was certain she would have rivulets running down her cheeks at this point.

"The baby was lost in the change. He could not withstand it. I woke to find my son expelled from my body in a bloody mess. A few more weeks and he would have come safely into this world. I can still picture his perfect little face…. I had a family with Matias. We had had 4 children at that point, two of whom had lived past their first few months. My son Matias, and my daughter Maria. My family died shortly after I changed in a bout of plague that hit our village particularly hard." She broke off here, unable to continue. I looked at her in pity, and we held hands for a couple of minutes, thinking of our respective families, all of whom were gone. She removed her hands from mine and inhaled deeply,

"Anyway. Santiago and I stayed together for a decade after that. He taught me how to hunt. We hunted humans at that time." She looked remorseful.

"I'm not proud of it, but I knew no other way, and I was a lust filled newborn. I did not have your restraint."

This surprised me. My restraint? She knew what I had done to my- my… It was too hard to think of.

"My restraint?" I hoped that my question held it all.

"Yes Bellisima". She smiled at me. "You have amazing restraint. A newborn vampire, no matter if he were the most controlled vampire to ever have lived, could never withstand a human throwing themselves at you. But instead of going on a blood fueled drinking binge, as any other vampire- ay carumba, even me…." She stopped, musing, before gathering herself. "The point is, you removed yourself instantly. And since then you have only fed from animals, all on your own. It is a remarkable achievement, and you should be proud".

I felt like that was a bit of stretch, but she'd certainly given me something to think of.

"Santiago and I parted ways after 11 years together. We never really got on, and I preferred my own company to his. I drifted around Europe in the decades after that, hiding by day, feeding by night, reading and learning as I went. I used to visit great monuments in the night. It was a pleasant, if lonely time. One night I encountered another vampire and greeted him. It was Eleazar". Her voice filled with warmth and love at this.

"We quickly fell in love and I moved with him to Volterra, where the Volturi live. But it was hard… Eleazar was one person by day with the Volturi, and a completely different person with me at night. It took a toll on him- on us. Eventually it was too much, and Eleazar begged to be excused from the Volturi. They were reluctant but they eventually let him go". We moved eastwards and there encountered the Denali sisters. Shortly after that we came to Alaska together and the rest, as they say, is history."

I listened, enraptured. "When did you know you wanted to spend your life with him?" I asked. I felt like a dewey eyed schoolgirl. "I suppose, from the moment I first touched his hands. It is often that way with mates."

"Mates?".

"Yes, dear Bella. Mates. This is one of the 'perks' of vampiric nature. We mate once, and we mate for life. The love two humans share could never compare to that of a vampire bond. It is as though we are all separate halves of a whole, and meeting a mate instantly fuses you into one. There is no possibility of separation after this."

"but what if…" my voice trailed off here, it seemed too awful to hypothesize.

"If one of us dies?" She finished my sentence for me. I nodded. "It would be like being wrenched in half, straight down the middle. The feeling would never abate, never lessen. Vampires who lose their mates often shortly follow, and those who live do so… without color. It is an empty existence. I would wish it upon no one. One of the Volturi brothers, Marcus, lost his mate several thousand years ago, but he still behaves as if it were yesterday. His brothers do not let him kill himself, but he merely exists. He ceased to live when his beloved was taken. They never found who did it either."

This sounded horrific. I almost wanted to never find my mate, lest I lose them. But it warmed my heart to see the happiness Carmen and Eleazar brought to each other.

"Is it rare?" I asked.

"Not rare, per se, but it seems uncommon. Remember there is only one mate out there, and they could exist at any point in history. They may not have even been born yet. But as rare as that sounds, if is still not uncommon for vampires to be mated. It is as though our paths take us to those we are destined to live with. At least, this is what I choose to believe.".

I came back to my conversation with Kate.

"Esme is his mate. She is a warm, motherly woman, and indeed acts as mother to their 'children'. These are Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet, and Edward."

"Three mated couples?!". Kate chuckled. "Yes, indeed, three of them. It is an unusually large coven, but it is not uncommon to meet your mate. My sister and I have just been unusually unlucky in that respect." Kate looked dejected at this, but her eyes suddenly glimmered mischievously.

"That's actually why Tanya is so excited to see the Cullens- Edward Cullen. She is besotted with him."

"I don't understand, I interjected. How can that be? I thought mating went both ways?"

"It does; Tanya and Edward are not mates. But ours is a long existence, and it is not rare for vampires to seek solace with each other until they meet their mates, or move on. Dating, if you will. Those relationships are often filled with as much love as a human relationship, but as you know, that love pales in comparison to that of a vampire mating bond."

Kate sighed, shaking her head. "Tanya is not used to not getting her way, and she burns an especially bright torch for Edward. It's actually why they don't live with us permanently. Well that, and Carlisle's medical practice".

She stopped briefly before continuing on.

"Edward is…reserved. He holds out for his mate. Tanya hopes to convince him that there could still be a happy, loving relationship. She also doesn't get turned down by male companions often and…. It has lit a fire under her, so to speak."

"Edward is Tanya's in her mind, I get it". The thought made me laugh, but I was more than happy to support my beloved sister in her quest for Edward. Perhaps I could even help…. I thought of extoling Tanya's virtues to Edward, winning him around for her. I resolved myself. I would repay some of her kindness by helping Tanya win over Edward.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I'm so sorry I didn't update yesterday. I wasn't busy or anything, it was just rainy and I spent the whole day wrapped up in a blanket watching Netflix. Which was a poor decision because I can't go two days without posting when I said I'd post everyday so now I'm rushing to write something today and I'm flat out busy. Argh! Stymied by my own laziness! Thanks to all who read, reviewed, favorited and followed; it means the world to me!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Okay so I'm trying a new potion this week, but since it hasn't worked yet, Twilight is *still* not mine.**

Chapter 8

The Cullen's were due to arrive this afternoon, and we were all very excited at the prospect of their impending visit. They were going to arrive at 4.32pm. I was bemused when I first heard how specific the time was, but Eleazar explained to me that they had a psychic- Alice. A psychic! And apparently Edward was also talented; a mindreader. To be perfectly honest, this thought filled me with enormous trepidation. The idea of someone else poking around my mind? I'd been practicing singing nursery rhymes in my head, even though Eleazar told me he probably wouldn't be able to hear me. I wasn't taking any chances.

True to their word, they arrived at 4.32pm. They drove here in two separate cars. A large Jeep Wrangler and a shiny silver volvo. I watched them as they emerged. I had spent the last few months surrounded by beautiful gods and goddesses, but their beauty still took my breath away. Out of the Jeep emerged a tall rugged looking man, easily the largest man I'd ever seen. He had short curly dark hair, and inspired immediate fear, assuaged slightly by the childish smile on his face. Out of the passenger side of his car emerged a blonde goddess. Her beauty was a whole new level of jaw dropping. I felt ordinary and plain in comparison, and I knew how beautiful I was now. From the back emerged a small pixie-like girl with short cropped hair who bounded up to us, clapping her hands together. Behind her was a serious looking man who took my breath away, but for an entirely different man. This man screamed danger. He was covered in what looked like bite marks- they raised the hair on the back of my arms. I let my gaze slide away from him to the occupants of the other car, who were now walking towards the house. A slight looking lady with chesnut brown hair and kind eyes walked beside a calm looking man. They looked a few years older than the rest, and I guess them to be Carlilse and Esme. Lastly I looked at the bronze haired man. My heart stopped. I had never seen a more beautiful man in my life. His features were perfection, his smile-

This must be Edward. Well, I could now understand what all Tanya's fuss was about. I saw them going well together, both incredibly beautiful. And my beautiful, kind sister deserved only the best, which is what I was beginning to suspect this man was. They were well matched.

"Tanya, Irina, Kate" called Carlise. "Eleazar, Carmen; greetings. My thanks to you all for allowing us to trespass upon your hospitality".

"Our greetings to you all, thank you for making the trip" responded Tanya jovially. "Come! I've put you all in your usual rooms, perhaps you'd like to drop your bags off, refresh yourselves?".

"That would be lovely, thank-you Tanya" responded Esme, warmth glowing in her voice.

A few hours later we sat around the fire place in our home, trading stories. I listened, enraptured as they caught up, with all the familiarity of a family.

"But please, we've spoken too much" graciously interjected Carlisle. "We are all dying to know about the newest addition to your family, the lovely Bella". Everyone looked towards me and I shifted uncomfortably beneath their gaze. I'd never been comfortable as the centre of attention. Thankfully my sisters long knew of this fact, and Tanya took the initiative to tell the Cullen's my tale. They looked on in pity as the story unfurled. "At least you found a loving family" commented Emmett, the large looking man I had initially feared. I had since realized that he contained all the aggression of a golden retriever, with a similar disposition.

Eleazar stood up and invited Carlilse to a game of chess and they sat and reminisced. Irina and Kate invited the remaining siblings to go hunting with them. They all agreed. Tanya pulled Edward to the side. I pointedly tried not to listen.

"Edward" Tanya trawled seductively. "Would you like to go for a run with me? There's a sweet waterfall not too far from here, it would be nice to go for a swim together."

Edward removed his arm from Tanya's grasp, looking distinctively uncomfortable. "No thank-you Tanya." He moved away from her. Not drastically, but the message was clear. "I am rather in need of a hunt".

I appreciated his gentlemanly manner, trying to save her from losing face in front of her family, angry as I was at him for turning down Tanya's offer. Couldn't he see how much she cared for him?

"Bella, are you going to join us for the hunt?" For the first time he looked at me. I tried to ignore the way my body felt at the sound of my name coming from his perfect lips.

Oh shit! Mind reader! I'd forgotten. I looked at Edward, trying to glean if he had heard me.

"Edward?" I tried calling out with my mind. Nothing. Huh, Eleazar must have been right. Edward was now looking at me strangely, and I realized that I hadn't responded to his question.

"Er, yes. I will. Thanks". Maybe I would get a chance to talk to him about Tanya.

**A/N: sorry to leave it there but my fiancée is literally standing at the door waiting not-so-patiently for me to get and up leave with him, we have plans. Sorry again about not uploading yesterday, I will try my best to tomorrow (although the next two days are actually really crazy for me, schedule wise).**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello again awesome readers. I know I say this on every chapter, but it really means a lot to me that people are enjoying my story. So thanks! Sorry this one was late, I did not have a minute yesterday to write, I was out of the house from 4am until 10pm (at which point I passed out).**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

Chapter 9

We flew through the woods. This was by far the best part of being a vampire. The wind whipping around me, racing through the forest but still able to see every leaf, insect and branch. Never tiring. It was exhilarating. I could literally do this forever. I glanced over at Edward, running about 20 yards away from me. I tried to be surreptitious, but I rather felt that if I were a cartoon I'd have gigantic love heart eyes. He was just… a god. No other way to see it. He ran with such ease, a calm smile gracing his perfect face. I think I could quite happily stare at him all day. I was so glad he couldn't hear my thoughts. I'd be mortified if he knew of my school girl crush.

I'd be mortified if anyone knew. I reminded myself that he was Tanya's. It seemed a bit anti-feminist, to label Edward as someone else's without his consent, but I knew the deep feelings Tanya had for him. A silly crush could never compare. I pushed it out of my mind. After we fed Edward ran in a different direction, one I'd not been before. He ran for a while, but did not balk at me following him. Eventually, up a slight incline, he stopped. I caught up and stood beside him, taking in the view in front of me. I looked out onto a valley, with a quiet river cutting through the ravine. Trees covered most of the landscape, and the sky was an iridescent spectrum of orange and pink. The components were lovely enough on their own, but the landscape before me was so beautiful I did not believe it could have been captured even by the finest painter. I felt Edward standing next to me about 4 feet away, his head turned slightly towards me.

"What a view". I was stunned, almost speechless.

Edward responded, "yes, it's quite lovely". I turned to him, smiling, and he stared back at me.

He continued. "this has always been one of my favorite views. Many more places used to look like this, but as I've grown in years so too has the population, and places like this grow more and more rare."

His voice was wistful. "It makes places like this all the more precious". I couldn't agree more.

"When were you born?" I asked him. "1901" he responded. He quickly regaled his story to me.

"I'm sorry about your parents", I said, failing to keep the pity from my voice.

"It's fine" responded Edward. "I barely remember them". Edward looked at me, deep into my eyes. It made me uncomfortable, the attention. "I wish I could read your thoughts" he interjected, suddenly. "I've never encountered this before, and its.. frustrating, to say the least."

"I always thought my eyes made me an open book. My mother always said she could read my thoughts through my eyes".

"I would love to know what you're thinking". Edwards voice was softer now, more intense. He lifted his hand and grazed the side of my face.

The response was instant, electric. It felt as though a current had run through our hands. I had never felt anything like it, anything this…intense. I looked away and changed the topic quickly.

"So how long have you known Tanya?". Hmm. That might not have been subtle enough. Edward laughed "so you noticed then? It's uncomfortable, but I would never want to hurt her". I bristled on her behalf. "She's a wonderful person y'know". "I know" responded Edward simply.

"Maybe you should bring her here. I know she'd love it." Edward looked at my quizzically, before finally saying, "Would you like me to bring her here?".

"Yes" I said simply. I couldn't explain the tugging feeling in my chest. It felt… empty almost, but painfully so. It was uncomfortable.

"I will then". Edward was no longer looking at me. He left, faster than he'd been running when we came here, faster than I could possible run. I ran back at my own pace, my mind full of questions.

When I arrived back at the house I was informed that Edward was no longer here, and he'd gone into town with Alice to pick something up that she had ordered. Tanya bounded out of the house, her smile full of joy.

"He asked me out!" Wow. That was fast. I was a little shocked, but I quickly rearranged my features to a smile to match Tanya's joy. "Great! I'm so happy for you!" "You have to help me choose what to wear Bella! He says he's taking me to some view or something. Which sounds a little yawn but hopefully it will be lovely and secluded, if you catch my drift". Tanya winked seductively, then burst out into giggles before rushing back into the house. I was puzzled at Edwards sudden change of heart, but happy if it meant Tanya's happiness. In the short time I had been with the Denali's I had come to view Tanya as a sister to me. I was also eternally grateful to the endless hospitality she had shown me, and the painstaking effort she had made to integrate me into the family. I had been so grief stricken when she found me, but I had since come to feel like I was part of a family. She was even (slowly) convincing me that I deserved such happiness, after brutally slaughtering my previous family. I can now accept that it was an accident, but, being totally honest with myself, that did little to assuage my guilt and grief.

So I was more than happy for Tanya. I was certainly willing to ignore my little crush on Edward, to step aside so that they could be happy. They were also perfectly suited to each other, beauties among vampires. It was just a pity that they wouldn't be able to have little bronze haired and strawberry blonde children. I was certainly… morose about not being able to have children. I hoped that, one day, I would meet my mate and that would be enough. It made me uncomfortable that, thinking of my future mate, all I could see was Edward.

They had just left for their date together, and I was sitting with Jasper. I enjoyed his quiet, serious countenance, and had been fascinated to learn that he could manipulate emotions. We were actually playing a game involving it. It felt childish, but fun, and Rosalie and Alice seemed to derive enormous pleasure from watching me try to figure out the obscure emotions that Jasper was influencing in me. I was currently particularly stuck, filled with a feeling of wonder, sorrow, and amazement. I had to give up. What is this?

Jasper sensed my confusion and defeat. "Sonder" he stated simply.

"Sonder?" I repeated back. I'd never heard of it. Honestly, before we'd started this game I had been under the impression that emotions didn't go much further than happy, sad, excited and other simple emotions.

"Sonder is the that feeling when you realize that everyone you see, everyone who passes you by has their own complex life. Their life has the same kind of feelings as yours does - with heartache and happiness, and routines, family, and everything else that happens in life. Every person out there has their own filled life - just like you" Jasper explained.

Huh. Interesting. But, apparently not interesting enough to keep my mind of Edward. No matter what I did my mind kept slipping back to him, like a bad habit. It was then that Tanya raced back into the house. She was sobbing, and quickly ran to her room. It sounded like she was face down in her pillow, rasping dry pained sobs into her pillow. Irina and Kate got up from where they had been sitting across the room. "We've got Tanya. You go and find Edward, make sure everything is okay".

I raced out of the house in the direction Edward had taken me earlier. I found him facing the view, his head in between his hands. As I arrived he whipped around, an almost crazed look in his eyes.

"…Edward?" I asked tentatively. "What happened?".

He responded bitterly. "Tanya tried to kiss me, that's what happened. I'm sorry Bella, I tried, but I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I know you wanted me to do this, that it would make you happy."

What? He did this for me? To make me happy? "Why would you do that Edward? Why for me? That makes no sense."

Suddenly he was standing by my side. He raised his hands to cup my face, and confused as I was, I could still register that exciting feeling that came when we touched. It felt familiar. It felt like home.

"I know you feel this Bella" Edward whispered, his topaz eyes looking for confirmation within mine.

"That's why. I know I barely know you, but I'd do anything for you. Anything to make you happy. Surely you understand. It can't just be me".

I wanted him to be wrong. So badly. I owed so much to Tanya, to the Denali's. I wanted nothing more than to feel nothing for him. To tell him that he was wrong, and that he belonged with Tanya. I wanted to scream it at him, run from him, never think of him again.

But I couldn't. Everything in my brain was screaming at everything in my heart. I had never been so conflicted. Edward saw the assent in my eyes.

His lips crashed against mine. I briefly registered my brain screaming no at me before I pulled him even closer to me, deepening the kiss. This was right. I knew that now. I was meant to be in his arms, kissing this man. His lips moved against mine, velvet soft. Suddenly I registered his tongue, begging for entrance. I gladly allowed it. He tasted just as amazing as he smelled, like honey, lilac and the sun. This threw any other kiss I'd ever had out of the window. The rushed, sloppy kisses with Ethan behind the cafeteria and the brief chaste ones with Chris outside the movies seemed childish, laughable, in comparison to this. Everything in my body wanted more, screamed for more. It took all my restraint not to rip his shirt off and lose my virginity in the middle of the forest to a man I'd met this afternoon. I tangled my hands in his perfect bronze hair, pulling him closer to me, longing for more. He in turn wrapped his arms around my body, lifting me from the forest floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding myself into him. I had completely lost all sense of abandon. Nothing existed aside from me, Edward, and this moment.

I was wrenched from it by the sound of a breaking twig in our vicinity. Someone was here. We unwillingly parted to look in the direction of the noise and barely saw Tanya as she ran from view.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi all! Thanks for reading, please enjoy :) I was listening to the soundtrack to beauty and the beast when I wrote this, if that means anything. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight, alas, is not mine.**

Chapter 10

My heart sank. Tanya! She'd seen us. I pushed Edward away from me, disgusted with myself. How could I do this to her? I'd thrown everything I'd wanted to do, everything I wanted to say, out of the window. For him. For Edward. Regret did not come easy, however. I knew in my soul that this was my mate. I barely knew him, but found myself unable to imagine spending a day of my life without him. In one fell swoop, Edward had become my everything. When Carmen had explained it to me it had sounded so romantic, the idea of absolute love, virtually at first sight. I had longed for it. Now that I was experiencing it myself it was….madness. I, Bella Swan, was not a fool. I knew this to be true. But it seemed utterly divorced from the fact that I wanted to spend eternity with this man. Something deep within me, something primal, longed to be with him. Love him. Do a great deal less savoury things to him. But I was getting side-tracked. I brought my mind back to Tanya, my sister. Who I had just betrayed. I hadn't even asked her. It must look as though I had set her up for this. Like Edward and I were laughing at her. Not 5 minutes after their disaster of a date I was in the same spot, kissing Edward; what she had tried and failed to do. I was distraught at the thought of what must be running through her head.

I took off in pursuit of Tanya, following her back to the house. She sensed me coming and stopped, just outside of the houses perimeter. I tentatively walked up to her. Her eyes shot daggers at me, but her voice came out soft, pained.

"How could you?". My heart broke. It was a perfectly valid question- how could I? What had I done? I had been selfish, ignoring my family to gratify my own selfish wants.

"Tanya, I'm sor-"

"You're sorry?!" She cut me off, incredulous. "Sorry? Like that's supposed to make it better? You're nothing but a thieving slut. How could you do this to me? After everything I've done for you?"

Tanya was living, hurling hurtful words at me. They stabbed like knives, cutting into my very heart.

"He's my mate". This was my only excuse. It sounded feeble to my ears.

"Your mate?" Tanya's voice turned cruel, mocking. "What would you know about mates? You've been a vampire for all of five minutes, and now you think you know more than me? It's not like you're reduced to a useless mess. You still have a brain. You still have a heart. You didn't even tell me. You just set me up for failure. Well, congratulations. I'm a laughing stock. My heart is broken. I could have expected it from Edward, he's turned me down before. I would never have expected it from you". Her voice was bitter, cold, cutting. She turned from me and entered the house.

I ran in behind her and encountered Kate and Irina blocking the stairwell, their arms crossed. "How could you, Bella" Kate softly questioned me, pain in her voice. "We thought of you as family. Tanya did".

"No! I never meant for this to happen, you have to understand- you have to believe me. Where's Carmen and Eleazar, they'll explain!"

"They went on a run together. They aren't here to defend you. As if they would." I had never experienced this hostility from Kate and Irina. But I understood. I had crossed a line. I had betrayed the very people who had opened up their home to me, but hurting Tanya the one way I knew would hurt her most; where she was vulnerable". Kate and Irina looked over to the Cullen family.

"I think it's best if this visit is cut short, in light of what's happened". The Cullen's stood together, protectively, pained expressions on their faces. Carlisle spoke, "I think that would be for the best, yes. Thank you for your hospitality. We are sorry things have gone this way. It was never our intention." They turned and exited the house, hurriedly re-packing their things.

"You too Bella". Kate spoke to me, her voice soft once again. I heard it break, just as my heart was doing at that very moment. "You may not have meant it, but the damage is done. It will hurt this family too much to have you remain. We're sorry. We tried". I knew they were right, but it did not stop me from hacking out pained sobs. They had become my family. What was I to do now?

I walked outside the house in a daze, and took off running. I ran blindly, not paying attention to where I was going. I heard Edward approach me and slowed to greet him. I didn't know what to say. He was everything to me, but at that particular moment I didn't have anything else. Because of him. Or because of me. I didn't know, I was so confused. Everything had gone so wrong, so quickly.

"Bella". Edward reached out a hand to me and I fell, sobbing, into his arms. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt. I didn't expect this to happen". I looked up at him "me either".

"Come with us. My family will accept you. They're all mated couples; they know the intensity of the feeling". At this point I didn't have any other options, so I numbly nodded my assent. We took off running in a south-east direction. We ran for several hours and the landscape gradually changed, turning into the tamer forests of Washington that I had grown used to growing up in Forks on my summer holidays. We talked along the way, Edward described his family to me in more detail. As Edward described his family to me I began to grown a larger picture in my mind of the friendly, warm Cullens. I had had so little opportunity to get to know them in Alaska before all the drama. I felt guilty about that, for ruining their holiday. I learned about the hostile, kind Rosalie. She had a strong protective streak and loved fiercely, when she actually did come to love someone. She was the polar opposite of her mate Emmett, an open hearted loving bear of a man. Then there was the pixie, Alice, who was fun loving and excitable. This was again, the opposite of her mate Jasper. In the short conversation I'd had with him I had come to learn he was steady and calm. He was the sort of person who thought carefully about every word he said. Esme and Carlilse were a perfect match, both loving, caring people, considering their coven mates their 'children'. It was a comforting picture, the one of their family. A thought occurred to me:

"Where are we going? I forgot to ask" I had become distracted in my grief. Edward responded, "We live in a small town named Forks in Washington State".

I immediately ground to a halt. Forks? That's where my father lived. Not to mention hundreds of other humans, all ripe for me to kill them. I felt very cold all of a sudden. I couldn't do that. I couldn't put my father, my only remaining family member, at risk. I explained this to Edward and he considered me gravely.

"We live a few miles outside of town, you can't smell the humans from our house. And I will always be by your side. If we ever encounter a human scent, I will protect you. I promise." His words brought joy to my heart, but I remained trepident. "I don't know Edward".

"Trust me, Bella." I couldn't not. Everything inside me told me to trust this wonderful man in front of me. I took his hand, and we continued running to Forks.


End file.
